The Soothe investigates those whispers of ‘I am not good enough’ and how to deal with a negative thinking pattern
Text: Maria Luedeke
Many of us have moments in our life when we think ‘I am not good enough’. It can be a negative thinking pattern that has plagued you since childhood, or just a passing thought that comes in and out of your life at particular moments. Whether it’s in relation to your job, relationships, parental skills, or something you’ve been trying to achieve for years (don’t get us started on acing a yogic headstand), sometimes you can push a lack of confidence and self-doubt away, other times you worry if Imposter Syndrome is a mental disorder.
While not an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Impostor Syndrome is acknowledged as a legitimate issue, and suffered by both men and women (although women are more likely to talk about it). According to a report from accounting and advisory firm KPMG, 75 percent of female executives across industries have experienced some level of Imposter Syndrome at some point in their lives.
To learn more about this sneaky pessimistic voice in our heads, we speak to Maria Ludeke, Director, Psychotherapist, Councellor and Executive Coach at Aspire Counselling Pte Ltd about how to shut down self-doubt and fill your mind with positive thoughts.
What is Imposter Syndrome exactly?
Imposter syndrome is something you experience due to negative thinking, lack of confidence, low self-esteem and irrational thoughts. In a nutshell it is the continual thought of “I am not good enough and people are going to find out” despite clear evidence of achievements and accomplishments to suggest otherwise. At one point or another most people will say they have probably had this thought. It’s normal to wonder if you’re “enough” in different areas of life, but it’s when it’s all you’re focusing on that it can hinder you from achieving your full potential or cause an even greater lack of confidence.
We tend to hear the phrase a lot these days — is it a new term?
The term ‘Imposter Syndrome’ was created in 1978 by two clinical psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Clance, so it’s been around for quite a while. It’s something that is definitely trending now on social media and blogs, but it’s always existed and been felt by people — it’s just being talked about more openly.
How can you switch your mindset from “I am not good enough” to “I got this”?
The most effective way of challenging negative thought patterns is by using a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) approach where you identify the thought, name the emotion, look at the evidence that supports the thought, and then look at the evidence that negates the thought. After reviewing the evidence, you can create an alternative and more positive thought energy which in turn changes your emotional state.
How easy is CBT to do?
Some people can do this well and others find they need a trained CBT Mental Health professional to guide them through the process. Often it depends on how deeply the negative thought patterns are entrenched. Positive thoughts and mantras, affirmations, body language (in the style of Amy Cuddy), and visualisation are all other tools you can use to help reframe the “I am not good enough” mindset and build self-efficacy.
How can you tell if someone you know has Imposter Syndrome?
You can’t really, unless they share their thoughts with you. And again, it’s not a mental health disorder, it is just a pattern of unhelpful negative thinking. The good news though, is that it can be changed.
